Since we have had weeks of family time during these summer months, I can honestly declare it’s time for everyone to get back to school. Parenting obviously provides me with my most joyful moments yet many frustrated and exhausting ones too. I can struggle to find where my role as parent stops and start trusting my child’s guidance system is working to solve their own conflicts and problems.
I have to say I give thanks for the many glorious vortex days which I have shared with my children over these months and for the most part I’ve felt great happiness each and everyday. I have however, experienced moments of contrast and on occasion despair (When I walked into a sea of tiny balls emptied from 2 beanbags, for the second time).
However, I have a little friend called Abraham who brought me into alignment on this wonderful subject of wobble free parenting. Here is my version of ‘The Source’s Guide to Parenting’:
Before you go about your day take the time to sync up with source.
Practice getting ahead of the situation by working on your alignment. Set your alarm to be up before the children and spend time sitting quietly, 15 minutes of meditation and some lists of positive aspects, even add in segment intending for the first few hours of your day. Children only mirror back the environment which is around them. If you are troubled by something then your children will misbehave. If you can enhance your thoughts up to a more positive or better feeling place, even into alignment, at least the morning wake up call will unfold a little more smoothly.
Don’t make your wobble freeness be about their squabbling.
Your belief (as was mine) is that their squabbling is eroding your stability, and they need to stop it in order for you to be happy. This is untrue. If we have to fix the conditions in order to feel better then law of attraction will only bring us more of those conditions to fix. You would find so much more freedom in being unconditional.
The only thing you have to focus on, the only thing you can control, is your vibrational stance from which you are approaching the issue.
Well intentioned habits are perpetuating the very conditional love.
When we teach our children to be kind, as we, all well intentioned parents do. We are at the same time teaching them to control how others feel. Through this belief system we are enforcing the idea that other children don’t have to find their own stability. What we really should be teaching them is how to feel good, not how to control the way others feel. “If you don’t say goodbye to granny, she’ll be very sad”, was a commonly used phrase in our house. We need to teach our children how to control how they feel as they will grow to become grannies who don’t mind the silent goodbyes and the lack of kisses when they leave.
How do we teach them, how to control how they feel?
As parents we teach by example, by caring how we feel. By giving them our attention when we feel good and by withdrawing when we’re not feeling so great. By treating them exactly the same way their inner-being treats them. Their inner-being shines a light of well-being all the time no matter what, and does not deviate from that love regardless of whether they’re being kind or not. Their inner-being doesn’t hold them hostage when their being unkind their inner-being loves them unconditionally and so does ours. Treat them like their inner-being does; sync up, get into alignment and give them your undivided attention. If you have a moment when your not feeling so great, take time out; put them in a safe place or in front of a funny cartoon and take time out for you to try and regain some positive energy, get back into alignment through a short meditation or best yet in a quick four minutes the Abraham Rampage of Love…
A sibling squabble leads to wobbles.
Your children are out of alignment, aren’t we all sometimes? It is not something you can or should control. It knocks you out of alignment too. What we should control as parents is to be mindful of our alignment before we are mindful of our response. Take the time to consistently make sure you’re in alignment which will prepare you to go out into to the world and not be easily influenced by things that will knock you out of it.
Once we as parents truly know unconditional love, and practice it, we’ve got it. You won’t forget the freedom of how that feels. The little ones did not come here to jump through hoops, they came here to help us remember what unconditional love means.
Abraham’s definition of unconditional love:
Unconditional love means having discovered and practiced, having accomplished and achieved alignment without conditions.
Rules to live by for a harmonious home:
- You must be unconditional
- You can’t control the way they are behaving
- You’ve got to feel good anyway
Talk yourself back into alignment during times of squabble, your children reflect how you feel!
Do I love or hate them?
Do I feel good or bad about them?
Are they lovely or not?
Are they well meaning or not?
Are they born with guidance or not?
Do they need me to be their guidance?
Do they have an inner being?
Is their inner being loving them all the time?
Do I teach through my words or through my example?
Tomorrow is a new day in our household. I will work on my own alignment with source through meditation, a list of positive aspects regarding all the wonderful things in my life, I will shower and be ready for my darlings to wake up. When my eldest daughter uses her favourite word of the moment “stupid” I will not say you must be kind, you must be kind. Instead I will start with “I want you to feel, what it feels like to be mean, and what it feels like to be hateful, I want you to feel like what it feels to be loving and I will consistently show you loving, loving, loving”. 100% of my conversation with her about her alignment will be from a place of my alignment, complimenting and activating her alignment. I will not try to stop the momentum of her misalignment as that seems to only perpetuate it!
Here’s to a day of calm and ease – I hope yours is too!
PS. This post is dedicated to my darling friend Tere, for our short, brief and concise conversations on all subjects from squabbles, squishy ones and the stream of well-being – I love you and thank you.